Sticking to your First Mind

  Do you know that your first mind is part of your natural instinct, which is human nature?  Wikipedia defines human nature as, referring to distinguishing characteristics, including ways of thinking, feeling and acting, that humans tend to have naturally.”There are many times when things may happen in life that initially you have a “gut” feeling about.  Majority of the time that “gut” feeling is your natural instinct kicking into gear.  There are many arguments that are present regarding human instinct and whether it exists in this capacity.  When raising children this is an instinct that will be very important through out the years.  You probably have heard about “mother’s instinct” as well.  This is a term that has been around for ages that in my opinion does exist.  If you take nothing else from this article, please get how important it is to trust your instincts with your children.  This instinct will help you overcome many hurdles including being able to observe for negative behaviors, change, drug use, failing grades, fears and many other behaviors.  It is so important that as parents you are able to tune into to your children and understand their emotions and behaviors.  Children can be very non-verbal at times and tend to shut down, take this as a red light that something could be going on.  Try talking with your child alone or maybe take them out to the park or somewhere quiet.  Stop all the yelling and screaming and have some quiet moments with your child.  During this time is when disclosure may occur.  Do you know that most children don’t open up to their parents for the following reasons; Fear of yelling, screaming, being judged and the problem being discussed with other family members and not being kept confidential.  Remember that if your child has enough trust to share something shameful or embarrassing to you and you spread the news that will probably be the last time you hear anything else.  It is so important that as a parent that you keep confidentiality or if you have to discuss it with your spouse that you do it as a family and discuss it with your child before making the decision to go forward.  This is one of the main reasons children build a brick wall with their parents due to a lack of trust.  Start early because if they can trust you with the little things then they will trust you with the big things.  These are some of the main issues that have been presented during my work with children.  Working with children has been an eye opener for me because you learn so much.  If your first instinct tells you that your child may be experiencing changes in behavior, friends or habits then they probably are but it is up to you as a parent to follow up and do something about.  Stop second guessing yourself when it comes to raising your kids and go with your first mind and be a helper and help them through their growing years.
Chikeitha Owens, LPC

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